Y'all I am just in a funk lately, and this post is going to be a bunch of random thoughts going through my head right now.
I think I'm beginning to go stir crazy since I'm not working right now and pretty much stay at home all day except for the occasional grocery store, Wal-Mart, or gym trips. I usually like going to the grocery store and just wandering the aisles looking at and touching all the food and random stuff I don't need (but thankfully don't buy most of the time). It's weird, but it's a stress reliever for me. However, I don't feel that way in any of the grocery stores here. No matter where I go I leave more stressed out, angry, aggravated, irritated, and every other negative word you can think of than when I went in. I am trying to come up with alternative places to go that will have everything I need in one stop and also be that source of stress relief I'm seeking, but none I've tried have really been any better than another.
Looking for a job is stressful. I absolutely despise filling out job applications on the internet. What happened to good ole' paper applications you picked up at businesses?! I don't know why, but I would much rather my hand fall off from writing my information over and over again on paper than fill out applications online. I think it's also very impersonal. I may be shy, but I would at least like to say hello, introduce myself, and personally hand my application to a real person. It's also disappointing when you fill out app after app and don't hear anything back. Here I am sitting with a BS in chemistry and no job. Talk about feeling worthless and like a failure. Right now I really don't have much motivation to get out of bed before noon, and I think it's starting to wear me down.
Living in a new city (much less, a college town) is also stressful. From needing to get directions to everywhere, to not knowing anybody (except my husband & a few of his coworkers), to having no idea what fun stuff there is to do, to constantly being surrounded by college students, to just plain not being in my comfort zone really sucks. There's no other way to put it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for my husband's job that brought us here, and I'm so glad he got a job back in Alabama, but it just doesn't feel like "home" yet. All of these things added together have made me become more of a homebody, and I don't feel like leaving the house most days.
My days feel like that Groundhog's Day movie...I feel like I do the same things over and over, but at the same time I feel like I don't do anything at all. I wake up, check facebook and email, eat breakfast/lunch, do dishes, do laundry, pick up here and there, check facebook again, read my daily blogs, figure out what's for supper, check facebook again, work on some kind of craft project, etc etc etc. I don't see how stay at home moms stay sane! I need a little variety over here!
Now that I've probably bored you in all of my self-pity thoughts, here's how I plan to make these things better.
I'm going to keep searching for a better place to shop, figure out what time is the best time to shop. (i.e. when do the shelves get restocked? when are the least amount of people there?)and try to go in with a better attitude instead of beginning the shopping trip with a negative one.
I will keep filling out those applications and pray! I know I won't get anywhere unless I put in the work to get there or without asking God for help! Remember that these things take time. Rome wasn't built in a day, and I've got to start somewhere. As far as getting up earlier, I need to start going to bed earlier for one. I also need to schedule as much as I can in the mornings so I have a reason to get up early. The hubs and I are also toying with the idea of doing our workouts in the morning once his work schedule starts to pick back up.
Scott and I are in the process of finding a church home. I'm banking on this to be one of the main places that I get to know people and make friends. I'm slowly learning my way around town, but need to venture out more on my own so I can learn more. I need to do more research of things to do around here (I think I've found a place to go in a couple weeks!) and find where the locals hang out...not the college kids! This place not feeling like home yet is probably normal, since I've been here full time for less than two months, but I'm praying that I get used to it and it becomes comfortable to me and finally starts to feel like home.
Lastly, I need to make doable to-do lists. Instead of listing every single thing that needs to be done on my to-do list for let's say Tuesday...I need to only list what can be achieved in a single day. I think I'm one of those kinds of people that needs to set small goals instead of huge ones that seem like they can never be reached. I need to come up with a schedule that has me doing laundry on one day only if possible, bathroom cleaning on one day, vacuuming on one day, etc. That way I'm doing something different every day, and it makes time to add in fun stuff like a craft project, or a trip to Hobby Lobby or whatever cranks my tractor that day. Maybe I can make myself go for a walk outside instead of walking on the treadmill at the gym. This fix will need a little creativity, but I think it's manageable.
&& just a little Pinterest quote to sum this post up